What Happens When Clary Drinks
by Guinevere-Hale
Summary: 3 words. 8 letters. This is a little story about what happens when you let Clary Fray get drunk. Things are said and things are done, and Jace learns one very important lesson: Never, under any circumstances, let Clary drink. T for drinking and light cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**I promise I do not own Mortal Instruments. No matter how much I plead and pray, Cassie refuses to give it to me!**

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Clary was utterly bored.

Isabelle was at Simon's apartment, doing who knows what. Actually, she knew exactly what those two were doing, and the mental images that had just appeared in her brain scared her.

Alec was with Magnus at their apartment. Clary knew what the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the Shadowhunter were doing to occupy themselves also. Those images didn't settle her stomache. Not at all.

Maryse and Robert had long since left the Institute for Idris, and Clary knew that there was no point in calling them up.

So that was why Clary was sitting in the parler area, twirling the ring around her fourth finger, staring at Church. The Shadowhunters' cat was rolling around on the floor, trying desperatly to lick a certain spot on his back end.

She smiled at his silliness, but couldn't stop herself from looking down at her cell phone. Jace was out on a small errand. as the new head of the New York Institute, he did have a few duties to uphold. He had told his fiancee that he would call text her when he finished.

Sure enough, as she unlocked the screen, there was Jace's message. He was on his way home, as of ten minutes ago, when he had sent it.

Clary stood up hastily, fixing her hair and sliding her ring back into place on her finger. Just in time, because Jace burst in the door.

"Clary, let's get drunk." He wound his arms around her waist. Jace smelled like his normal cologne, mixed with the scent of blood and sweat. It was a scent that could only, and would only, ever be _Jace._

"Um, why should we get drunk?" Clary asked as her arms made their way around his neck.

"Why not?" He smiled before his lips met hers.

~_Let's just pretend there is a really cool line break right here~_

Clary was giggleing like a madman.

"Stop! We need to be good adults!" She said before brusting into another fit of giggles. Some time in the past hour, Clary had drank about two beers, lost her left shoe, taken of the tight top she had been wearing, and made a bowl of Cheerios. Jace, who could hold his liquor, was watching her, shaking his head and laughing at his fiancee.

"Clary, come over here. You are drunk. Sit down." She turned and looked at him very seductivly.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Officer." Again, Clary brust out into giggles as she ran over and plopped herself on Jace's lap. He kissed her, and they stood like that for a few minutes, finally needing to come up for air.

"Damn. This was a terrible idea." Jace said. Clary had stopped giggleing. She was actually looking kind of serious. Or as serious as a drunk Clary Fray-Soon-to-be-Herondale could be.

"Jace, I have something I need to tell you." _Damn it. _Jace thought. _Please let it be good. Please let it be good._

That was when she said it. 3 words. 8 letters. Easy to say. Hard to prove.

"Jace, I'm a zebra." Jace was having a hard time controlling his urge to brust out in laughter.

"Ok Clary. You make a very hot, drunk zebra." A few laughs escaped between words.

Their fun only lasted about 20 more minutes, because Clary had to run to bathroom for the reappearance of her liquor. Jace carried his fiancee to their bedroom and laid her down, kissed her forehead, and shut off all the lights. As he climbed into bed, she whisperedd in his ear.

"I love you Jace."

"I love you too, Clary." He kissed the top of her head and held her until they both fell asleep.

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Awwww! Cute endding, right? Please reveiw with comments, or critisim. Please be nice though. Mean reveiws hurt my feelings. :-(

Also, ideas for future stories?

Thank you too everyone who read and reveiwed.

~Guin

P.S. I'm back baby!


	2. Chapter 2

**This is going to be a very short chapter. It's just the morning after when Clary wakes up and Jace has to tell her about their night... **

**And a huge THANK YOU to you lovely reviewers/favouriters/followers!:**

**KatnissHerodaleEaton (Are you a Will fan also?)**

**holycrap35 (That is an interesting name.)**

**Soaking in the Reign **

**lovingbites**

**artsywriter9**

**DemonQueen27**

**And a few other guests.**

* * *

Clary rolled over in the warm sheets. The sun was shinning into her bedroom window, and she opened her eyes.

Big mistake.

"My head hurts." Clary whinned to no inparticular. She heard a soft laugh from somewhere near the door. She knew that voice, but everytime she moved, someone decided to drag a knife across her brain.

"How are you feeling, othe than the excuciating pain in your head?"

"Leave me alone."

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine."

"Keep your voice down!"

"Clary get up. Take these and come have some coffee." So Clary did just that. Jace followed her into the kitchen, only managing to slam two doors and yell once, resulting in a slap arocss the arm all three times.

Clary sat down in the dark and drank her coffee.

"Jace, what happened last night?"

"You got drunk."

"Oh my God. Please tell me I didn't do anything illegal."

"Illegal, no. Hilarious, yes." Jace's smile widened as he said this. "You were dancing around, singing to songs you didn't know. You picked up Church and started talking to him. Oh, and you tried to have sex with me four or five times; but I can't blame you because, I mean, have you seen me?" Clary rolled her eyes. "You made cereal. And to finish off the night, you told something very interesting." Jace let his voice trail off.

"What?" Clary was genuinely scared. What had she told Jace last night? And why had she gotten drunk, knowing what she knows?

"You whispered a dark secret in my ear..."

"Oh?"

"I'm a zebra!" Clary relaxed.

"Well, I blew my cover. Damn!"

"I know for a fact that you are not a zebra."

"Really? And how do you know that?"

"Zebras are definately not as good in bed as you are."

"JACE! Ow." Clary put a hand on her hurting head.

"Come on. Let's go back to bed." Jace lifted his fiancee into his arms and carried her back to the bedroom, just like he had the night before. As he set her on the bed, he heard the same thing he did last night:

"Jace, I'm a zebra." He laughed.

"And I love you, even though you are a smelly zoo animal."

"Thanks. I love you too." He kissed her forehead and laid down next to her.

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**So, I feel the need to clear up the whole name situation.**

**I got one reveiw telling me that Jace's name was not Herondale, that is was Wayland. I aslo recived a PM that told me it was Lightwood.**

**To my reveiwer: How far are you into the series? You find out later that Jace is not a Wayland or a Morgenstern, but that he is a Herondale, a desendant of Will. **

**To my PMer: Yes, Jace could be considered a Lightwood. But I like to call him a Herondale, because that is his last name. Also, it gives me hope that Tessa and Will will (haha will will. Get it?) end of together in the end of CP2. This hope was crushed though, when Cassie declared that Jem also has a desendant in her next series. **

**So thank you Cassandra Clare for ruining my life. I'll email my tears.**

**Thank you to everyone who read and reveiwed**

**~Guin**


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